THE DAVE CHAFFEY UNIT IS DEEPLY DELUDED BUT HUMOUR HIM AND PERHAPS ONE DAY HE'LL BE ABLE TO GET BACK TO SOME KIND OF INCOME-PRODUCING WORK

This might be the most important blog post you ever read. Your life might be transformed; for it is the dawning of the age of the Aquarius Pisces cusp robo-lady. Share this with everybody you know and World Peace will be assured!

Alright, probably not. If you are too busy, go and do something more important! It is unlikely that this blog will not help you unless you have extremism spectrum disorder. Currently only 1 person I know has this debilitating affliction. And to this person, don't be calling the men and women in white coats on me because I have way more dirt on you to get you locked up. ;)

Next post, I'll start publishing some of my Facebook McRants, and might 'punch them up' if I think my former self was being a tw*t. I might also add some more mind-opening memes dedicated to Richard Dawkins, who created the first meme in 1962 when he carved a depiction of a cat with a surprised expression on its face and added gold lettering to the bottom with the message "I has surpwise!".

Why am I inflicting this ramble rimble rumble on to the World? Don't tell anyone but I've been employed by a top secret organisation to infiltrate extremist groups on Facebook, get to know them, then love bomb them until they change their ways and stop calling me a f*cking f*lthy m*gg*t. So far, I've started to work on 1 particular subject that may co-author my second book if I can get him to stop abusing me and calling me "spiritual garbage". 

If you think my claims are extraordinary and I'm making them up to make myself seem interesting enough for you to bother interacting with me, well, don't you trust me? I trust you all at least 50.1% of the time. It's also all on my FB history so I can sort of 'prove' it. Or maybe I've Tyler Durden-ed the whole thing and have created a cornucopia of extremely freaky characters, so I can unlock their secrets in my mind and write a book on each of them. I'll have to find some fresh unnamed soldiers bodies or something so I can pretend that they were all real but died and i'll dump the bodies around with a sachet that carefully backs up my fabrications. Or am I just telling you all this to put you off the scent? Is my real plan far more sinister?