"...incredibly creative!! It's like nothing I've ever heard! ...It's bizarre, funny, opinionated, and demented all at once!" - Beloved New York comedian who appeared on Dave Letterman (and wishes to remain anonymous for obvious reasons)
The only post-Trumpocalypse, vile, offensive, extremist comedy podcast that reaches an angry, confused audience who unfortunately don't read or have any insight into the level of their cultural emasculation programming: man-pussies and females who can’t see their high privilege level and cry when they lose a few percent, real men who feel that the elitist anti-deplorable left of politics has totally failed them, man-c*nts who just accept that some/most/all men are disgusting wild animals only interested in f*cking and fighting and some/most/all women are gold-digging wh*res and that will never change. Real men need to end this misery and take back control!
MAN BRAIN PODCAST WILL PREVENT MANKIND
FROM FALLING INTO VIOLENT FEMI-NAZI TRIBALISM
BY MAKING EXTREME COMEDY GREAT AGAIN #MECGA.
Fan art by the great VEGAS_702 on Twitter
Man Brain is satire but may seem like the complete opposite of the ideals of The Emergence Starts Now. Remember that technology will cure human nature, but we've got a long way to go, and satirical humour is a great coping mechanism that doesn't shy away from the real issues. Left-wing pussy comedians are thinking that political satire is dead only because they believe their own ideologies are much too serious and important to joke about. That is on the extremism spectrum I'm afraid so lighten the frig up. You can still care and be funny about almost anything. We haven't gone completely crazy and turned into an extreme men's rights activists. We're trying a different, hopefully complementary approach to the usual serious talk about the patriarchy, that many people rebel against, as they should if they haven't managed to hack their cultural programming as some of you have. Did that sentence make sense? haha. If you're horrified by the podcast, it's understandable because it is extreme comedy. But Donald Trump won and this is our response. What's yours? Our craziness is grounded primarily in reality rather than in group narcissism. This isn't about us; it's about trying to work out what the hell we're doing and where we're headed. Our road map is optimistic but it's just a prediction. Get on board our steaming man train and let's see how far we can go!
Try out this free personality test! E-meters are optional. Please post a comment below with your result and how it makes you feel. Then share with others to help me determine the percentages of the three distinct personalities that I have identified.
In part 1 of this series, I won a Mel Gibson 'blow me' doll by filling the first line of my extremist bingo card, but that wasn't enough to make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world; like I'm the only one that you'll ever abuse; like I'm the only one who knows your cooze. One extremist gets supercalifragilistic-expialidocious-ed by typhoid Mary Poppins for every square crossed off, so I will not be able to satisfy myself until I Clean Sweep and Pyrolysis Sooty all 25 squares. I'll then hand the deck over to Kimmy Gibbler and challenge her to get a Fuller House in extremist-twink-stud poker.
6. Ideology Reduced To Simple Narratives
Jesus protected himself from the Romans with his favourite pistol; a custom IPSC 1911 45ACP
“The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.” Wayne LaPierre quote, the US National Rifle Association’s executive vice president.
My thoughts are that there are too many Americans and their numbers will continue to grow until Donald Trump completes construction on his impenetrable death wall and impenetrable father-daughter incest chastity belt. My fellow American friends inflict so much suffering on the rest of the World in the name of the almighty Oprah's cooch pooch; something like one million dead in the middle East at the hands of mostly barely-legal teenagers who call the young children they massacre 'sand nigglets'. They have as much chance of re-building a country as I have of shooting my jizz to the moons of Uranus and impregnating Portia de Rossi.
We all agree that the US is a country of mostly gun-inserting, Jesus-sodomising megalomaniacs. But many of the inner-city leftie regressive toddlers don't even own a single semi-automatic rifle. I agree with the NRA: arm up. Arm your young; arm your old; arm your developmentally delayed; arm your paroled. More guns means fewer Americans. If the hopeless bullied dweebs can be better trained and slay half the children in their schools instead of only a few, that would be a great start. I believe the children are our future; teach them guns and let them lead The Purge. Fewer little American nits now should lead to a far more peaceful World in the next generation. And for those that manage to dodge the bullets, I'll personally assist them in going the way of Whitney Houston and drowning in bathtubs full of cocaine and misery while singing 'Blow will always love you'.
7. Outsider & Ex-Member Demonization
How did Shermon deal with lefties in his workplace? He lost his job!
Shermon Burgess is the former leader of the Australian Anti-Islam United Patriots Front. Watching his videos makes me want to marry Bjork and go and become a whale trophy-hunting operator in Iceland. On a parody video aimed at Burgess that he says is the reason he stepped down, he claims the video was made by a man who "goes to patriot rallies, but he’s really a lefty". Everyone not totally on board his Aryan-bogan-protecting M4 Shermon Tank must be against him in his befuddled nut. His followers must complement his wife beater mentality and shirt and his obviously racist hat adjustments or they will be banished to the fiery planet of Mustafar for being a lefty. Post-modernist left winged flying monkeys annoy me as well but I don't demonise them and I certainly don't believe that they are causing the downfall of Australia; which is still easily one of the world's top 200 countries. It makes me so happy that Shermon 'the tanker' stepped down after some of his followers mocked him and pointed out what a joke he is. I love it when vocal but insignificant extremist groups implode under the weight of their own reality-free halal-slaughtering fantasies. How much did that hurt his little-boy big-fight soul? He lost his job and his former followers take him about as seriously as they would a female left-wing lesbian First Australian. The best comedy is real life and the best real life is when someone gets chicken plucked by their own people. I've been laughing at this guy for months and now even his former followers are too. So basically everyone now thinks that animated furry Care Bear golden-rainbow-shower porn is more beneficial to society than he is. Is there any chance he's going to reform his ways or is he in too deep with hatred of Muslims, Lefties, First Australians, women, woofters and above all, resentment towards hard-working Australians that don't get kicked out of every rental property because their Nazi skinhead mates trash the joint and gas with Zyklon B any passers-by that look a bit brown or Jewy.
8. Humourless About Ideology
"There are certain things about the Holocaust that should be taboo. This is especially true for Jews, for whom the Holocaust is still a deeply painful memory. It is vulgar and offensive for anybody to use the death of 6 million Jews and millions of others in the Holocaust to make a joke, but this is especially true for someone who is Jewish and who proudly and publicly wears her Jewishness on her sleeve." Abraham Foxman quote, Former American Anti-Defamation League Director.
And what was this disgusting joke? Hold on to your Jew shoes and be prepared for a combination of letters more offensive than Israeli tank music. Joan Rivers was commenting on how amazing Heidi Klum looked in an Achtung Cleavage Baby dress at the 2013 Academy Awards: "The last time a German looked this hot was when they were pushing Jews into the ovens."
Why does this dress make me think of German Weisswurst sausages?
I have no doubt that Fantastic Mr Foxman believed that he was saving humanity from evil when his Cuban-America intern wrote the press release, but he completely missed the point just like every Jewish basketballer disappointment. His ideology seems to be that Jews need to be protected like defenseless babies floating down the river from Roman comedians, German comedians, Guatemalan comedians, prop comedians and, above all else, from traitorous Jewish comedians; Jewish comedians just trying to do their job and make people laugh and maybe lightly remind the World that the Holocaust was kind of bad. One sharp-tongued joke can do so much more than droning academics at teaching average folks about the shyte that went down in the World and continues to go down. The example I usually give is that without comedy, I would never have heard about the Great Jewish Beaver Slaughter of 1374.
I'm pretty sure Abra-ham sandwich is not an extremist Zionist with plans to inflict bland desert slave food on the world; but he was using extremist tactics to attempt to shut Rivers up. If he didn't want to gag her and gas her, he's certainly telling Rivers how to do her job and to be someone different to who she was. Losing your identity is like telling someone to stop being such a Jew. Is this ironic? I'll tell people like him how to do their jobs: stop using celebrities for your attention-seeking outdated ideologies and accept the power of shock comedy. We shouldn't silence comedians unless they're being mean-spirited or are handicapped and their whole act is cripple jokes.
Was Fox-Mulder-man happy when plastic surgery achieved his final solution; an achievement that no Egyptian managed when Joan was a slave-girl building the pyramids? The question must be asked if Redd Foxx-man used some of his dirty defamation money to bribe the surgeon and make it look like an accident. Abraham was most likely cheering when he heard the news of her death. But it really depresses me that she'll never make another suffocating holocaust joke again. I need to be constantly reminded that I shouldn't start yelling in German to start another Jewish Holocaust. The Jews are alright. It's the Armenians that have to be wiped out for creating the Kardashians. Those vapid ugly sisters have left me completely soft and unable to masturbate to my peccadillo: Jewish-German gas-chamber scat porn.
9. It’s War! Fighting Words
"Whose side are you on?" Tony Abbott quote, former Prime Minister of Australia. What prompted this scathing attack from Tony Abort? Was this high treason from an Indonesian James Bond who tapped into Abbott's wife's phone and her secret shower cam? Not exactly. It was Tony up to his old extremist tricks again attacking his own national broadcaster. Indirectly threatening to obliterate the ABC was a running theme of the previous federal administration in Australia and their fighting words galvanised the community and gave Andrew Bolt intense Abbott-gasms. This is what extremists do; they try to convince you that either you are totally for their hyperbolic, vitriolic, destruct-aholic, anabolic anger or totally against them. Abbott and Co made it seems like if you opposed them, you would be buried in the foundations of Joe Hockey's 17th house.
Just because I moderately defended the ABC, I was labelled as anti-government and told by one Twitter 140-character ranter that the ABC must go or at the very least become privately owned. I do think that the ABC is important for the cohesion of Australian society; especially in rural and remote regions, but the personality machines Michael Rowland, Paul Kennedy and their mates aren't perfect. Most of the ABC do lean left and they have to be constantly vigilant to stay stuck in the middle and treat all politicians with equal contempt. They do a pretty good job of this, but being in the middle wasn't good enough for Uncle Tony, who seemed to want a North Korean-style government propaganda broadcaster. At least now the worst Prime Minister in Australia's history is our ex-Prime Minister. It's so great when these guys are deposed by their own party then pretend that their ego and budgies are still intact when they are shedding tears into the ocean while surfing. Meanwhile, the ABC keeps doing its thing: bland comedy, dull drama and non-sensational news programming.
"We wants it, we needs it. Must have the precious Prime Minister-ship. They stole it from us. Sneaky little Turnbull-ses. Wicked, tricksy, false! "
10. Delusions Of Grandeur
"We fear not the swarms of planes, nor ballistic missiles, nor drones, nor satellites, nor battleships, nor weapons of mass destruction. How could we fear them, while Allah the Exalted has said, ‘If Allah should aid you, no one can overcome you'" From ISIS rag Dabiq.
ISIS missed the verse in the holy scriptures stating that Toyotas were the devil's chariots
ISIS have been reasonably effective so far when compared with other Dr Doomsday cults. Some people claim that the Wayans Brothers will destroy civilisation with their anti-comedy brain-mushing technology before ISIS kick their boyfriends out of bed and make their next propaganda video with singing even more annoying than Japanese J-pop girl group AKB48. I'm not sure who will take us down to funky town. All I know is that ISIS, the Wayans and AKB48 need to be barraged mercilessly by air strikes; and Tito Wayans must go first. Islamic State have restrained themselves in floral-printed strait-jackets and pink short shorts but they don't have Martin Riggs' shoulder-popping Jewish super-powers. They believe in a version of the prophecy laid out in their holy texts which can't happen in this reality. They will kill many; they will be partially successful in undermining peaceful global society; but they will not win. The ancient Roman army won't jump in their TARDIS quadrigas and come to 2018 to be destroyed by them. I'm more likely to suck out all the excess carbon dioxide from the atmosphere and poop out extinct rodents than they are to install a World Caliphate. Their leaders are no doubt fully aware of this, but this delusion of grandeur gets the pigeon-toed, cross-eyed, curved-spined, young testosterone-bags fired up and ready to slaughter random non-combatants whose only sin is being a moderate and openly enjoying the occasional homosexual dalliance.
We can all pretty much agree that ISIS are laughable and pathetic. But many of us understandably fear criticising them in any way or depicting their main prophet in black leather assless chaps being back-doored by a black endowed chap because the doomsday cult are violent and can mobilise 15 year olds to murder in the name of a non-existent god. You might be scared but I'm more afraid of Taylor Swift's posse's combined menses destructive powers than I am of these extremist f*cktards.
To be continued in episode 3 where Darth Vader yells 'NO' when IG-88 propositions him for a robo-power-drilling.
Gladys McClintock, who invented bingo in 1873 in response to Thomas Hardy's novel A Pair of Fat Ladies
It's hard to make extremism as fun as subjects like quantum loopy love blanket gravity. My extremism spectrum disorder diagnostic tool is thorough but extremely dry and a little depressing. So I was thinking about how every boy and every girl could spice up their lives and learn to ridicule violent extremist adolescent pain management volunteers. Then one sultry night I had a eureka moment while fantasising in the bathtub about Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi's massively endowed lady-boy concubines. I should create a new game: extremist bingo! I've found it to be a great way to ridicule the embarrassingly misguided things that those on the extremism spectrum say; both mostly harmless like the intellectual musings of Jesse Ventura and potentially world-ending like Gwyneth Paltrow who said “I’d rather lick crack than eat cheese from a tin.”
The rules are so straight-forward that even your middle manager Uncle Bruce could play. The goal is to mark a cross on five squares in a vertical, horizontal, or diagonal row, then scream, “EXTREMIST!” There are 12 possible winning lines: 5 vertical, 5 horizontal and 2 diagonal. Players simply cross the squares and guffaw when extremism is found that aptly fits the description.
I will go one step further and fill in every square for the ultimate-supreme-mega-extreme jackpot.
These people with delusions greater than John Nash's taxi driver are certain that they are correct and everyone else is wrong about climate science. They have also appropriated the term 'sceptic'. One of the problems with this is that there is already a skeptical movement of people who are the opposite of climate sceptics. Real skeptics follow the science while climate sceptics don't care about the science unless they falsely believe that it supports their ideological position that climate change is some massive conspiracy to destroy all our air conditioners and vibrating pleasure chairs. I consider myself a real science-based skeptic but don't use the term anymore because of its taint. I call myself a science-based hippie instead now. Dirty hippies have less baggage and are funnier and cuddlier than rabid proof stench climate sceptics.
It's possible that climatologists could be somewhat wrong, and scientific criticism from outsiders is important, but climate denialists shouldn't be so arrogant to believe that they know better than the experts. They should help the climatologists to refine their models if they want to do something useful. The moment they use terms like 'hoax' or 'conspiracy' they have taken themselves out of the conversation worse than Robin Williams. We still love Robin and can enjoy his work, while sensible people now just ignore the denialists. My pet crabs crawling all over my pubis have more useful things to say about climate science than these climate sceptics do.
2. Trite Slogans / Obtuse Jargon
Fine upstanding individuals wearing hijabs in solidarity with Muslim Australians
"We are not the terrorists. We are not the beheaders. We are not the bombers." From Reclaim Australia website.
The Hitler pubic mustache-donning end of the Reclaim Australia spectrum are terrorists and even the mainstream members suffer from extremism spectrum disorder. Their hateful ideology leads people to spit on law-abiding Australians, fire-bomb mosques and make YouTube videos more embarrassing than Cold Chisel's new album.
I agree that Islam has its issues but putting all Muslims in the same halal-certified KFC bucket and inferring that they are all extremists, then using extremist tactics themselves doesn't help their cause. It makes people like me laugh and troll them online. I'd tell them to keep doing it if it wasn't causing so much harm to the Indian cotton of society. I can understand how they've been brainwashed, but seriously, they should all just go back to their parents' basements and rub one out to burqa porn.
Two slimy lizards and a galaxy walk into a Zionist conspiracy
"Humanity is actually under the control of dinosaur-like alien reptiles called the Babylon Brotherhood who must consume human blood to maintain their human appearance." David Icke quote.
Icke is a little slippy toad praying on the fears that many people have: something is secretly controlling their lives. It seems to be an extreme version of externalisation of problems. I do this too when I blame my wife for leaving behind haul truck skid marks when it was probably me. But at least my hypothesis has some feasibility. The Babylon Brotherhood that Icke bangs on about aren't real or at least there is zero good evidence for it. And the shape-shifting alien weirdness is as crazy as John Travolta's hair-pieces.
How about these alien fist probe delighters stop thinking that others are to blame for all their problems? Imagine if they decided to take responsibility for their own actions and started to help make the world a slightly better place rather than fantasy-gasming over shape-shifting reptile cross-dressing Queens; playing make-believe that they have Amazonian invisible Wonder Bra super powers and magic dominatrix flagellation lassos.
4. Empathy Reduction
"Maybe the weak need to die." Anti-vaccination extremist comment on Facebook.
I have seen both empathy reduction and empathy magnification with anti-vaccination delusionists. They are possibly just afraid of being poisoned which is fair enough but they take it to the extreme and invert the risk to benefit ratio. Many of them also believe that only natural things are great and anything artificial is deadly. So natural rattlesnake venom pessaries cure thrush while cyberskin black-tailed jackrabbit dildos dislodge Fallopian tubes? It's a ridiculous position and easily disprovable but this doesn't stop them at all when it's pointed out. In order to hold the position that vaccinations kill babies, they have to accept that some will die of preventable diseases, which makes them ignorant and arguably evil. I've been told by an 'internet person' who thought they were an expert that I don't know what I'm talking about because I haven't held a dying baby in my arms that had been poisoned by the vaccine schedule. That's almost like saying that I can't talk about Jeffrey Dalmer because I haven't raped, poisoned, murdered, dismembered and defiled young boys. Actually, Dalmer didn't poison his victims and neither do vaccines; and the risk of vaccine side effects is incredibly low.
5. Fear Mongering Slippery Slopes
Cory would make a worse Prime Minister than Tony Abbott. He's a lethal flaming cocktail of right-wing, christian and syndromic intellectually disabled.
On same sex marriage reform: "The next step, quite frankly, is having three people or four people that love each other being able to enter into a permanent union endorsed by society - or any other type of relationship. There are even some creepy people out there... [who] say it is OK to have consensual sexual relations between humans and animals. Will that be a future step? In the future will we say, 'These two creatures love each other and maybe they should be able to be joined in a union'. I think that these things are the next step." Australian Senator Cory Bernardi quote.
Cory 'loves the barn yard' is my least favourite politician I think, not because he's an extremist but because my six year old nephew is more worldly and my demented grandfather is smarter. Whorey Cory struggles with key concepts and skills like reading and assless chaps design which makes him more dangerous than an extreme BBW on a lesbian sex swing. He is one of the religious prudes holding up same-sex marriage in Australia because they believe that delaying it a few years will guarantee a place for them in heaven; love sandwiched between Jesus and God.
I might have some sympathy for them if they didn't use such ridiculous arguments like slippery slopes. Same sex marriage is a massive cultural change and you can't expect all to be in favour of it, but seriously, come up with some better arguments or just shut up and accept that the world has changed and you haven't. And Cory, just go and enjoy an animal. You brought up bestiality which means you've thought about inter-species violation, which most likely means you've cry-wanked yourself to sleep obsessing over your forbidden love with your suckling piglet.
