YOU'VE BEEN SELECTED TO PLAY THE EXTREMIST IS RIGHT! COME ON DOWN!!!

Try out this free personality test! E-meters are optional. Please post a comment below with your result and how it makes you feel. Then share with others to help me determine the percentages of the three distinct personalities that I have identified.

TRIBALISM IS AS USEFUL AS THE AVERAGE REGRESSIVE LEFTIE BEN AFFLECK

Fred Savage and his brothers

Tribalism used to work pretty well when it was considered happy happy fun times to go and wipe out the next tribe over and claim the hairiest, smelliest, best-looking women. What we now romanticise as perfect harmony between most ancient tribes and nature is fantasy or was only possible after much bloodshed to reach stalemates and carve out free trade agreements with all the surrounding neighbours and the witch Doctor Karls. Even within tribes, a big chunk of the male population was executed for the good of the tribe. And the barren witch women too were made examples of when they got too lippy and saggy.

But it wasn't only the grown-ups bein' murderin'. Infanticide, also known as fourth trimester abortion, was often a common practice to keep the population sustainable. So sanctity of individual life doesn't sound like it was a core concept back then. It was all about survival of the tribe. Individuals were readily sacrificed. The needs of the many outweighed the needs of the few or the one screaming 'the plane' to Ricardo Montalban. Some Davy-Jones-worshiping simians also do all this type of killing-in-the-name-of the machine-raging and have since at least 1965.

Zack de la Rocha before he went all political and lost his rootability

So I give a giant artificially-flavoured, artificially-sweetened, artificially-coloured and pesticide-laden GMO finger to the cruelty of mother-frogging nature. I don't accept that we can't be better than this. Screw our natural instincts too. Frark much of our ignorant intuition as well that tells some to drink baby sloth urine to cure malaise cancer or to not teach critical plonking to our children. Our stoopid ape brains no longer serve us well in the modern world in which we find ourselves where we are all bombarded with so much information and have no easy way to filter out reality from Dr Oz's silky smooth raspberry-ketone-rich left ass cheek.

(Maybe you agree with the above but you delude yourself that you are the exception and your own intuition can over-ride the scientific consensus when it comes to violating your orifices. How fracking arrogant are you to think that you know better? What makes you so special?)

To make matters worse, many of us blame the lizard men and the Jew-leets for ruining our lives, but they are just the modern version of tribal elders. I'm willing to bet that the rank and file minions who were too gutless to actually do anything to improve things were always complaining about authority back then too. Ancient epic tales of moaning weren't passed down through the generations because they didn't make for compelling story telling. Now there is no filter and we can have a great ranty whinge about how our lives have been ruined because a romatic comedy movie about a troubled boy and his kind gym teacher set against the backdrop of 9/11 didn't quite meet with our expectations. Having the technology to record and share all our thoughts and our most colourful and weirdly-shaped poops shows us what we really are like and what we possibly were like back then too. Most of us are facile and flaccid and couldn't manage the guards and make a bring-your-daughter-to-work day in Jared Fogle's prison a resounding success. Until this changes, one could argue that we need despots like me.

In the wretched old days as now, it was advantageous for the gene pool to keep some who suffered from extremism spectrum disorder (ESD) and the better studied sociopathy, psychopathy, narcissism and vapid-fame-whore-ism. They were often the leaders who didn't cry over sacrificing individuals to protect the delusion that their tribe were more deserving of survival than the neighboring tribe because their penis pouches were dark brown instead of light brown.

The eight ancient tribes of Penisrael

Many of the worst/best leaders today still suffer from ESD and the conditions mentions above. Rupert 'Bear' Murdoch most certainly does but fortunately attacks with poorly written tweets and hacked voice-mails instead of Rebekah Brooks' Poisonous Stews of the World. Real-life Tony Soprano Vincent "Vinny Ocean" Palermois is another example. An absolute monster but also extremely charming and arguably a good father and duck lover. People talk about the advantages of lacking empathy to be a good leader and get shyte done. Too much empathy leads one to despair about the suffering in the world and leaves you living like Greta Garbo's incontinent cats hoping that it will all go away.

Now, people like me and most smippies have great hope that we can get over all these sexually violent ape instincts and, with technology, live in peace and harmony without evil pant mustache-twirling leaders and warring, Freudian-slippery, Nicki Minge vs Taylor Slit tribes. We get dismissed by those who have been brainwashed by the constant barrage of bad news and celebrity suicide boob jobs. However, the trends about how the world is going are looking good overall. This is cause for optimism about the future of Hugh's manatee.

We love to focus on murder sport through history, but of course cooperation is innate as well in humans and soap-dodging pirates with little terriers called Pistol and Boo. Most old tribes traded with their partners as they weren't fully self-sufficient. Without this cooperation, humans wouldn't have survived to invent the Hello Klitty vibrator and make the world a more and more peaceful place. Trade and diplomacy don't make for the grand war stories but without this happening in the background, our homo-erotic, pseudo-historic sword-and-sandal slaughter movies wouldn't have been possible.

Pistol and Boo just before being slaughtered for Barnaby Joyce's grand banquet

Like it or not, globalisation has linked up most of the world so that we'd all lose in large scale conflict now. Who gains from the small wars of today other than a small number of corporate elites and storage warlords who need an ego boost at any price and only become erect when defecating atop pre-teen pyramids?

It's clear that we are getting close to fulfilling my dream that our innate tribalism is no longer serving us well. We will continue to use ever-advancing harm-minimisation technology to create a global tribe. Our common enemies now are a small number of old-skool tribal little-dick-tators and some bitter nose-wiggling witches who couldn't please/control their Bill Clintons so the Karmic Universe gave them painful chronic illnesses to prevent them from rising to power. Hillary may become the first exception to this rule to prevent irradiated McDonald from helping along the Global Islamic Caliphate.

Contain them all in Arkham Asylum once we no longer need tyrants to make us better people. Marginalise them, dismiss their destructive ideologies and laugh at their non-science nonsense nonce-essence. They'll eventually fade away like my hopes of changing my name to The Prophet Muhammad Asahara and marrying/ruling-over an entire Japanese J-pop girl band.

My dream-girl sister-wives

KILLER BUDDHISTS

For many people, violence and Buddhism would seem opposites, like Richard Dawkins' accent and Mama June's biscuit.

"It's called a biscuit because it looks like a biscuit"

http://www.internationalpolicydigest.org/2014/08/18/extremism-buddhism-myanmar/

"The problem is that the average Buddhist is taught, time and again, to think of monks as ascetics who have renounced worldly comforts and are thus immune to human flaws." 

Translation: Buddhist monks in Myanmar can get away with more than a chimera army of ISIS-themed Hello Kitty dolls, strawberry cream puffs and Australia's Border Fart Farces.

Does this story not get more attention because it doesn't fit into our narrative about Buddhism? Ask the average Australian mother, half-passed-out in the gutter at 3am on a school night, about her thoughts on Buddhism and what would they mumble between vomits? "Peaceful" maybe?

Mummy's having nappy time

The mainstream media knows this and I can understand why they make the choice to talk about every non-fatal shark attack, a new hot beef injection at McDonalds and a ban on selfie dick pic sticks. We consumers can't help it; our eyes gravitate to key words with an emotional reaction or that are the current fad as we just love novelty.

The only conspiracy here is our brains sabotaging our ability to understand the world 'as it is'. Our brains evolved to protect us and motivate us, despite the probable pointlessness of existence. Our meat computers don't really care about modelling the true nature of reality. We need simple narratives so we don't get overwhelmed at the complexity of the Universe. We crave simple. Anything that hints at the possibility of complexity and cognitive dissonance we can't handle. Any nuance gives us brain hurt.

I'll try it myself. I'll Bada Bing search about the closest thing we have to a real life Yoda, the Dalai Lama. He has said about homosexuality, "People who have a special tradition, you should follow according to your own tradition. ... But non-believer, that's up to them." In order to placate all his traditional and newage fans, he essentially says in 1 sentence that homosexuality is simultaneously right and wrong. This will work fine for the people that have split the world into believers and non-believers, but for people like me that don't think we are 2 distinct reptoid species, it reeks of his smelly vegan sh*ts.

"You smelt my finger"

I've gone horrendously off topic and need calming. What better way than finding some low-grade celebrity gossip. Headline: "Nick Giannopoulos takes aim at Ryan Fitzgerald for ongoing stoush". That's better. I don't even have to read the article. Fitzy is clearly 0% at fault. He's the ocker larrikin who loves his footy (AFL, the 'real' footy) and is clearly being targeted by a has-been desperately trying to keep selling his ethnic humour DVDs. Problem is, he's no longer considered ethnic or funny.

The star of Wog Boy 3: A New Irrelevance

So back on topic. Please try to not over-generalise. All Buddhists are not peaceful. All Australians are not bogans. I actually met a non-bogan the other week. I couldn't understand a word he was talking about. All members of Reclaim Australia are not pure evil. Some are confused time-travelling ninjas that took a wrong turn at Albuquerque. All fast food does not contain soylent pink slime. All popes are not Catholic. All kung fu panda monks do not poop in the bamboo groves. All celebrity chefs are not tossle pots. Actually that is the one exception to the rule: all celebrity chefs are non-stick tossle pots.

Paleo Pete's baby bone broth is rotting his face

CHRISTIAN EXTREMISM KILLS

A person suffering from Christian fundamentalist Jesus-splooging extremism added this comment to a post about the gay and lesbian Mardi Gras. It looks like he's trying to preach in the hope that someone will read it and be born-again. I don't think I've been demonising minorities enough recently, so I thought I'd take a look at what he had to say for some possible self-loathing left-handy-loving tips.

Sorry to spoil it, but his ideas interacted with my rational brain about as well as Negro-Neo-Nazis and Speedo-Emo-Neo-Hippies.

Jesus man-lover: "Christian God " Jesus " is the only living God that can give you eternal life."

My comment: So you are 100% certain that you picked the correct God and 100% certain that he/she/it/they can give you eternal life and there is absolutely no possible way that you could be mistaken or that the devil could have tricked you into picking the wrong God? I'm not even 100% certain that I love my wife 'Katy Perry' unconditionally...

Jesus man-lover: "You think God doesn't exist? Then ask yourself who created the Galaxy, stars, rocks and everything in and out of this world. It can't be there without someone creating it. There is a creator and that is God."

My comment: My opinion is that it looks like God is probably unnecessary so I am reasonably certain that he/she/it/they don't exist. But hey, nothing is 100% and you could be correct. If it helps you to cope with living in a universe with most likely no meaning, then why not?

The idea that an intelligence must have created the universe isn't too bad, but science is doing a pretty good job at explaining rocks. Even my 10 year old niece can explain rocks. She even taught me about a type of rock called clast, that I didn’t know about. If by stars you mean manufactured pop stars like Katie Underwood from Bardot, then absolutely they were created by the gods Jackie O, Chris Moss and Michael Napthali.

Jesus man-lover: “Ask urself did facebook exist on the Internet by itself without no one creating it. Without creating it there is nothing. That was just a simple example. Here's more.”

My comment: We all know the Facebook story that was told in the movie “The Social Contract”, where “A woman's dark and violent past catches up with her when she is forced to choose between her own salvation or keeping her family alive.”

The idea that something from nothing is not possible is the argument from first cause. Until we have a grand unified theory we don’t know about the very first moments of the Big Bang. It’s possible that it had no beginning, or was created from nothing, or was created by a super-genius meta-universal bunny rabbit called Mega-Bigwig who enjoys torturing my family members with their ‘addictions’.

Jesus man-lover: “ If the Big Bang really is two big planet hit each other and form this world( our planet Earth) then how can a living thing such as dinosaurs exist from it? How can birds form form it? Or water or food? “

My comment: Two big planets hit each other? Like Kirsten Dunst's boobs in Melancholia? I had no idea that Lars Van Twatter was showing us the creation of the universe when Dunst ran around without her grundies on.

The answer to every question is easy, God did it. Ignore all science-ish evidence to the contrary because God did it. Why are there annoying smugheads like me in the world? GOD DID IT!

Jesus man-lover: "If we humans are form from monkeys, where did the monkeys comes when all dinosaurs are extinct?"

My comment: Tree of Life is the answer. Watch Terrance Malick’s version; fall asleep; then understand.

Jesus man-lover: “How can a living thing form from rocks and dust etc from the Big Bang? If our planet was form from the Big Bang, did the other planets like Jupiter, Mars etc also created by Big Bang? Why not? And why is our earth the only planet form from the Big Bang and we can live inside and not other planets?”

My comment: Did you see the giant rock enemy in the famous episode of Tool Time with Tim Taylor? That’s how.

Scientists believe that only the Earth, Mercury and Venus were formed from the big bang. The others were built by the Super Happy Space Gnomes that all died shortly thereafter when they were smashed by the German Garden Gnomes.

Jesus man-lover: “ If the Big Bang created our planet Earth and form many living things then why can't scientist do everything they can to bring two planets together and make them hit each other to form another living planet like Earth. This way scientist can stop searching for other planets that human can live when they say that our world was form by two planet hitting each other. Why not try that so that living things will form from it? I don't think so. This proves that it's not natural and scientist are wrong about our existence and creations and many other things.”

My comment: Creationist scientists like Ken Ham are pretty talented. Next year, God has told him that there will be another great flood so he has built an Ark and is currently travelling around the world and collecting all the main ‘kinds’ of animals. God says there are only 27 kinds and screw the Australian marsupials; they were a worse mistake than Keynotes with Richard Wilkins. The only hold-up is getting a tax break from the US government. Unfortunately, God is a bit skint at the moment as he is waiting for his work-related injury settlement from Mega-Bigwig. Running the universe is hazardous and Meta-Bigiwig has been neglecting his workplace health and safety requirements.

Jesus man-lover: “ Why is there oxygen that we can breathe and it never run outs when in hospitals sicks people need oxygen to live? Didn't u say oxygen was natural? Then why would that sick person need oxygen to breathe so badly to live?”

My comment: A little known fact is that our atmosphere is 99% oxygen and 1% Sentox VX-1 Nerve Gas. Hospital patients actually need less oxygen to breathe better. Science is tough I know, but all this information is readily Google-able even with the 24 hour killer atheist safety filter on.

Jesus man-lover: “Why is that so many times, scientist are wrong when they predict the world will end in this year, that year etc. The bible saids no one knows when God will return. How can God creation human ( us ) have the ability to know when the world will end when we are just his creation living in this tiny planet Earth? Impossible. I point out scientist are wrong about this and so many of us believe them without knowing the logical explanations or proof.”

My comment: Richard Dawkins’ closest prediction so far has been when he “predicted that the Jesus Christ delusion would return to Earth on May 21, 2011, whereupon the saved would be taken up to heaven in the rapture, and that there would follow five months of fire, brimstone and plagues on Earth, with millions of people dying each day, culminating on October 21, 2011, with the final destruction of the world.” He received the Nobel prize for physics the next year in order to encourage him to keep tirelessly working on his final greatest prediction.

Jesus man-lover: “We thought scientist are the smartest so we believe everything they say and not believe the bible Yes they are so smart and may be able to creat humans like we are but they can't give them a soul nor spirit..”

My comment: The smartest scientist currently living is a Frankensteinian chimera of Marie Curie, Stephen Hawking and Dr Bunsen Honeydew. Currently they have near 70% confinement in their soul harvesting Tokamak reactor so all 17 fingers crossed.

Jesus man-lover: "There is only one living God and he is Jesus."

My comment: What about the holy ghost? It’s gonna be pissed and clanking chains the bejesus out of you at night.

Jesus man-lover: "And yes he forbid same sex marriage. He hates it."

My comment: So now we actually get to the point. All that entree of a goat, 2 cows and a eunuch for this main course morsel of gnat’s bile. Problem is that God doesn’t seem to be doing a great job of commanding his army to turn all same-sex couples into pillars of salt and paprika. But even worse, about 10% of his army have coupled up with each other. No amount of rant from Grand General Fred Nile can stop it. Gay couples are everywhere! They are working beside us, buying our houses and staying in for the night because they can’t stand how camp the Mardi Gras is. Some of them are even right wing.

Jesus man-lover: “Read bible with prayer and you will understand. Don't use your knowledge to measure or compare his words. God saids Though the world may crumble and destroy, my words will remain the same. He is the way, the truth and the life. Believe in Jesus”

My comment: I wonder what your 'read bible : prayer ratio is'. I don’t understand so I must have got it wrong. Why did I listen to Ray Comfort’s boisterous banana boy?

What do I do if I can’t believe in Jesus? I think I damaged my brain’s religiosity lobe in a backyard wrestling match with the great Mad Man Pondo.

Afterword: If anyone knows a gay-loving fundamentalist Christian or white-sauce-loving Pastafarian who has a similar style, I would love to start an online discussion as part of my amateur psychology research into the dysfunctional brains of people with extremism spectrum disorder. 

Extremism is usually destructive of course, but it seems to me that it can also be benign or even constructive. Frank and Brian Houston from Hillsong Church are great examples of benevolent extremists, right?

THE EMERGENCE TIPS FOR BEING A MODERATE SUFFERING FROM ONLY A MILD CASE OF EXTREMISM SPECTRUM DISORDER

These tips could have saved Tony Abbott. Sorry; too late!

Have you scored high on the Extremism Spectrum Disorder Diagnostic Tool? Follow these tips to tone down the anger and maybe you might be able to integrate into society without thinking that everyone outside your group is evil and must be destroyed at all costs:

1. Be humble. You are no better or worse than anyone else in the grand scheme of things including your enemies and frenemies and fappenenimies.

2. Always accept that there’s a possibility you could be wrong but play the odds rather than being an extremist post-modernist. It really does seem likely that there is an objective reality and that Deepak Chopra is an angry little quantum troll.

3. Don’t get too obsessed with a single way of thinking. Practice pretending you’re an anthropomorphic goat at least twice a week.

Lord Bleeter Ramstein

4. Learn about the science of how flawed our brains are. It might be humbling. Have a gander at Penn & Teller's ball & cups trick. This is what pseudoscience scam artists do with words to steal your money and they won’t show you how it's done.

5. Learn to say “I’m sorry” and “You might have a point” and “My claims are likely flawed but this is how I’ve come to this preliminary conclusion” and “I don’t know” and “your crackpot ideologue mates don't understand how to weigh up risks and benefits” and “you’re the walking punch line answer to the question of why the extremist strutting chicken crossed the kookoo road”

6. Learn to identify denialism disguised as an appeal to the middle or false balance. Kardashian genocide denialists are the best examples of this currently.

De Nile has been around since ancient times

7. It’s OK to change your mind based on new evidence presented to you. This is what makes you the wolf among sheep ready to pounce and take advantage of ever improving models for reality and for self-pleasuring machines.

8. A civil discussion weighing up all the evidence is possible but needs to be treated with respect. If your opponent can’t reason then try to smack them right in the face with some curve balls. Absurdist humour about their mother and father's reproductive organs usually works best.

9. Examine your own possible paranoia about persecution from those who disagree with you. Are you really being persecuted by right-wing Muslim transgender single mothers on benefits? 

10. Constantly question your own beliefs, no matter how sacred or ‘right’ you think they are. It’s OK to give percentages for things we can't know for sure like a creator for the Universe. We really don’t have sufficient evidence to claim 0 or 100% on this one. That doesn’t mean you can’t give your opinions and choose a concentration camp. Just try to understand how the Nazis came to their conclusions without demonising them.

11. If you think you’re Luke Skywalker or Neo or Larry Gigli and somehow unique and special, um billions of other people past, present and future do too. We can’t all be The One! Feel free to use this delusional thinking to positively motivate you, but don’t start a UFO suicide cult just because you have crazy eyes and can manipulate people.

12. If you think you’re part of the Rebel Alliance and a spy fighting the evil Empire, have a look what outsiders have to say who have no Galactic Credits in your delusions of Star Wars. It’s great to have convictions and causes but don’t think that your group is the only one who really gets it and understands how Bardan Jusik Bieber has been mistreated by the space media.

13. Stop blaming all your problems on external factors; except for the Zionist Jesuit Illuminati Masonic Knights of Malta of course.

14. Learn about how messy and random the Universe is. Look at your genitals ffs for a visual representation of random absurdity. To quote the greatest philosopher and white supremacist apologist: “Sh*t happens when all I have is a box of chocolates.” And just like sh*t, remember that randomness is clumpy.

15. Examine why you dislike those in similar groups to yours; especially when outsiders can’t tell the difference. The other indoor base humping club aren’t evil. You are most likely wrong that your tribe is superior. Non-humping fans couldn’t give a sh*t and laugh in your face when you explain why the others are inferior.

16. Examine your parents, the groups that you belong to and the company you keep. Have they heavily influenced you into your own magical thinking? If they score high on extremism traits then you’re f*cked and it’s almost impossible to escape. Try to be part of the minority that manage to get out then encourage others to join a more benevolent death cult like the Greens political party.

17. Do you follow a leader that outsiders laugh at or respect or are scared of? If you're being blackmailed by David Miscarriage, come to me and I'll sort him out for you for only $10,000. Then you must convince the faceless men that Dave Chaffey Hippie is the new Grand Master of the NWO; both the rap group and the World government.

18. Find your blind spots where there is a massive difference between how you view yourself and how others view you. This can be painful and you’ll probably think you’re just being attacked. In the corporate world, we call them performance appraisals but note that many companies don’t do reverse feedback up to the managers because they fear getting a dose of their own medicine. Oprah Winfrey and Gayle King penetrating each other with head-mounted estrogen-injecting dildos are what happens when leaders close themselves off to critics.

19. Name the people you most admire and most demonise and have a look at how others view these people. Try to collect as many views as possible, including propaganda, on everything; not just what Joel Osteen tells you to think about Jesus the filthy capitalist.

20. Examine how you speak to outsiders and how many of the words you use have been designed to keep them feeling like outsiders and not in the know. Stop using obtuse jargon like 'square the circle jerk' and 'boil the Billy Ocean' to make it appear that you’re smart.

21. Learn to identify the most common logical fallacies and biases that we are all subject to. Consider whether you are a victim of circular and motivated reasoning by using logical fallacies as evidence to defend your flawed fundamental tenets. Your core ideology is likely complete BS so consider whether it’s benign or Status Quo 'Centrefold' extremism.

22. Don’t say “It’s just my opinion” or “Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs” or “All I know is” or “I’m not racist but” or “God will judge us all” or “Can I have a Mc’super-Mc’sized Mc’Happy Mc’Meal?”

23. Look at history and those figures who always claim that the world is falling apart and in a constant sense of crisis. Identify the actual peaks and valleys in the timeline of the Fallout Universe. Accept that we might not actually be in 'Gary' Vault 108 at the moment; even though our brain wants us to believe it.

24. Stop using the slippery slope argument. I’m fricking sick of it and the World will end if you keep using it… for you anyway when I launch you down an actual slippery soaped-up slope to Donald Trump’s Mexican sex dungeon.

25. Learn your trigger words when having civil arguments where your brain shuts down to reason. Try to practice compensating for this by having your loved one spank you while yelling your trigger words to de-sensitise you. Examples of trigger words you can try are GMO, vaccines, science, The Pope, Space Pope, Meta-Pope and side boob.

27. Remember that 2 random humans have way more in common than the BS that separates us. We all poop (or in Japanese Minna Unchi).

28. Write a list of the people or groups whom you believe are holding you back from your perfect life. If you come up with 6 billion people being against you, this is problematic and will likely make it difficult to live in civil global society. You don’t have to agree with others or like them or compete in wet jegging contests with them; just try to treat them as human beings with the same rights as you.

29. Examine whether your own group uses the indiscretions of your ‘enemies’ as justification for your own extreme actions. Remember when your Asian-stereotype mother with a speech impediment told you, "2 wongs don’t make a wight?"

30. Is it worth committing violence to defend the idea that Stella McCartney is a superior fashion designer to Victoria Beckham? Carefully consider the suffering inflicted on all humanity; including by violence committed supposedly in the name of green carpet alana dress with kappor sandals and falabella shaggy deer purse self-defence.

31. Examine whether your own fixed ideologies have caused you and your loved ones harm. For example, you may have a toxic parent-child relationship coupled with a distrust of psychologists coupled with a belief that families must stay together. Hi Mum.

33. Do you believe that you will be proven right in the near future about the second coming of all the Spice Girls and if we all don't believe then the Spice World will come to an end? If you’re a chiropractic spice healer, give up and go and manipulate the spines of the ginger, sporty, posh, scary and baby worms in your garden.

34. Attempt to make a joke criticising your own World View. I can give examples if you need help because your crazy ideology is the biggest joke around. We all laugh behind your backs at how gullible and deluded you are.
If you already are a moderate following all these tips, then how do you try to convert extremists? Peaceful, belittling ridicule is the only kind of protest I’m interested in. I’ll stay at home and keep bashing my fingers on the keyboard and hopefully not my head against my wall filled with posters of celebrities who have had pectoral and ass implants. The web is my platform to spread Peace, Love, Harmony through Kindness, Humility & Humour. And memes about cat ladies.

References:

http://redlands2030.net/?p=10007

AM I SPIRITUAL GARBAGE?

I'm relieved/annoyed that I frightened off my katana-wielding frienemy, whom I probably should have blocked early on for spamming about psychedelic space mushrooms and just generally being one of the most difficult humans I've ever come across. How can I maintain a relationship with someone who doesn't even think they are human and calls me 'spiritual garbage'?

Is this my soul?

The rules of interaction were more than a little challenging for me to comply with. I called him 'bro' in our last chat and that didn't go well. Was I deliberately winding him up? Yes, but I call people 'bro' all the time and if that causes issues then what can I do? I stated that I'm happy to have keyboard warrior duels if he can be a tad nicer.

As he's written off all of humanity and doesn't believe that one should communicate non-telepathetically using English, what can I do? When I asked him why he uses Facebook, when it appears to be completely incompatible with his world-view, he answered because he wants to. I was hoping for something a bit more enlightened from an immortal being who claims to communicate with other-worldly beings such as Greys and Rigellians.

This ET tells me to wipe out humanity to clear Earth for his plastic invasion

The primary reason that he unfriended me was that I censored two of his comments on my Facebook threads. In the first, he called people 'cretins'; in the second he recommended giving illegal psychedelic substances to a child. I stated why I believed they were inappropriate. Just these two small censorships caused his persecution complex lobe to explode. I can see why diplomacy with extremists can be almost impossible; like working with Jeremy Clarkson.

But let's face it: he didn't laugh at or even understand my lame jokes, so it was never going to work out. I'm not optimistic, but I do hope he manages to eke out some kind of flourishing life.

Google says this is what a flourishing life looks like

Did engaging with him for a few days help, hinder or make no difference to his disposition? I would say no difference. True extremism seems to be a dysfunctional brain that probably cannot be mended without a heck of a lot of water-boarding by mental health professionals. Where do you even start with someone completely miserable and highly delusional that wants no therapy? Our current culture of individualism seems to say leave them be and it's their choice to destroy their lives. I'm just not comfortable with that but I don't want to lock people up either unless they are likely to harm themselves or others.

What's the take-home from all this for the majority of humanity who try to be moderates? Immunize yourself against extremism. Basically:

- Accept that we are all wrong about lots of things

- Question everything but don't deny the power of the scientific method and critical thinking

- Don't demonise anyone; not even Rebecca Black

- Be kind and don't play dirty unless it's consensual

- Find something that makes you laugh

I rate myself 50.1% successful at extremism immunization so I barely pass. If you rate yourself at higher than 80%, then ask your favourite skeptic if they agree and be upfront about your belief in hyperdimensional colonic colour physics.

This is my colon and clearly proves my psychic abilities

MY UNETHICAL AMATEUR PSYCHOLOGY CONTINUES

In order to know thyself, should we learn about others? It is prudent to increase the sample size above one for any scientific investigation. But, in my case, I may be focusing too much on others as part of a grand avoidance strategy to not deal with my own problems...

I will be applying V1 of my Extremism Spectrum Disorder Diagnostic Tool to two subjects that I have been interacting with. I have not met these people face-to-face so I am basing this assessment on their online personas which I accept may be different to their core personalities. Subject Neo is a great example of this. He is a keyboard warrior who challenges people to katana duels. I live near him, so we could have battled to the death I suppose but when he challenged me, both of his arms were broken!

Astra Neo hybrid canine

CHECKLIST V1 (updated V3 tool)

Subject Neo and Subject Astra

INDIVIDUAL

1. Is the individual 100% certain and proud that their ideology is True to the point where they never express doubt and others think they may have a superiority complex?
- Neo yes / Astra no

2. Does the individual’s ideology monopolise a big chunk of their time, money, effort, conversation, future goals?
- Neo yes / Astra yes

3. Does the individual deny the possibility of their own brain's fallibility when it comes to their ideology?
- Neo yes / Astra no

4. Is the whole Universe viewed in 2 shades by the individual? All good or all evil? Speaks in lots of absolutes?
- Neo yes and getting more and more misanthropic / Astra no

5. Does the individual have a less than fully justified persecution complex about their ideology?
- Neo yes / Astra no

An extremist and a moderate walk into a protest...

HARM

6. Has the ideology clearly caused the individual or others close to them harm in the past but they deny that the ideology was the cause? (Harm could be physical, emotional, financial, relationships)
- Neo it's complicated as past trauma may have been the trigger / Astra no

7. Have others with the same ideology harmed themselves or others?
- Neo yes: self-immolaters / Astra no

8. Is there denial or downplay that others with the same ideology have caused harm and denial or downplay that there are victims?
- Neo yes: self-immolaters! / Astra no

OUTSIDERS

9. Does the individual react unpredictably, irrationally, emotionally, negatively and with obvious motivated reasoning when confronted with contradicting evidence and opinions or even with more moderate versions of their ideology?
- Neo yes: lots of sweary abuse! / Astra no

10. Is it impossible to make light jokes about the individual’s ideology without negative reaction? / Does the individual misunderstand humour from outside the ideology?
- Neo yes and maintains the importance of austerity / Astra no

11. Does the individual throw the rule-book out during debates about their ideology and play dirty in order to win?
- Neo yes: calling me "spiritual garbage" / Astra no

12. Can the individual not imagine what it would be like to have a different ideology and can't be at least somewhat accepting of a different ‘path’?
- Neo yes and he's on a path to destruction / Astra no

GROUP

13. Is the individual part of a group devoted to the ideology with a charismatic leader or leaders that have somewhat closed themselves off to the outside world and others consider to be at least somewhat like a cult?
- Neo yes: Terrance McKenna / Astra not really

14. Does the individual glorify the people that share his ideology while demonising people with views that even only slightly differ?
- Neo sometimes, but at this point he's demonising even his friends with a similar World View so he's alienating himself more and more which is ironic from someone who believes he communicates telepathically with aliens / Astra no

15. Does the individual’s ideology involve unique jargon not used by others with a similar ideology?
- Neo yes and lots of annoyingly elaborate diagrams / Astra no

16. Does the content that the individual consumes about their ideology read like propaganda with obvious flawed logic and exaggeration?
- Neo yes: you'd think that his ETs would be a bit more sophisticated! / Astra yes but it's benign

17. Does the individual believe there is a constant sense of crisis about the world that could be fixed by more people believing in the ideology or at least not opposing it?
- Neo yes: he wants a Noah style great flood to destroy all the people he demonises / Astra no

IDEOLOGY

18. Is the ideology not backed by any scientific evidence?
- Neo yes-ish: Universe could be a simulation but the scientific jury is out / Astra yes-ish

19. Has an elaborate alternative paradigm been created that tries to ‘prove’ the ideology? Are there simple narrative structures as part of the ideology like hero quests and Star Wars ‘freedom fighter’ Rebel Alliance vs very powerful and evil Empire? Are complexities, nuances, randomness and the messiness of reality ignored or explained by the ideology?
- Neo yes / Astra half-half

FUTURE

20. Does the individual want to tell the world about their ideology and thinks that all will eventually be ‘awakened’ and ‘believe’ too or be punished for not ‘believing’?
- Neo yes: when he's not in complete misanthropic moods / Astra no not punished for disbelief

21. Is there the assertion that in the future the individual’s beliefs will be vindicated somehow, like the end times or scientific ‘proof’?
- Neo yes / Astra yes

RESULTS

Neo: 19 points therefore way above extremism threshold

Astra: 4 points therefore way below extremism threshold

The new Holden Astra

Conclusion:

As a 'benign believer', dealing with Astra should not be problematic as long as one is a skeptic or moderate and not an a-hole absolutist denier. Do not preach against or demean the subject's ideology; just have friendly conversation discussing the many ways the human mind can interpret the Universe. The subject likes to engage in humorous banter too which is always great immunization against extremism!

Dealing with Neo is problematic. Proceed with caution and warn others if the subject's behaviour may harm others. It is hard to describe the subject as anything other than a harmful extremist. Try to build some kind of rapport without humouring his ideology too much and without making him think of you as an extremist from the 'other side'. Using humour is fraught with danger and no jokes should be made about the subject's ideology. Do not publicly shame him. He needs professional help especially for his suicidal ideations.

Afterword:

Neo did indeed become problematic and he is still on my Facebook blocked list. I have been considering unblocking him, but he continues to strongly abuse even his supporters that share his fringe World-Views. I deeply worry about his future and really wish that he could get the professional mental health support that he needs; if that's possible. 

When I manage to build my Emergence re-education camps, he will be my alpha student and then, mark my words, he will be my deputy leader once he sees the light.