THE EMERGENCE TIPS FOR BEING A MODERATE SUFFERING FROM ONLY A MILD CASE OF EXTREMISM SPECTRUM DISORDER

These tips could have saved Tony Abbott. Sorry; too late!

Have you scored high on the Extremism Spectrum Disorder Diagnostic Tool? Follow these tips to tone down the anger and maybe you might be able to integrate into society without thinking that everyone outside your group is evil and must be destroyed at all costs:

1. Be humble. You are no better or worse than anyone else in the grand scheme of things including your enemies and frenemies and fappenenimies.

2. Always accept that there’s a possibility you could be wrong but play the odds rather than being an extremist post-modernist. It really does seem likely that there is an objective reality and that Deepak Chopra is an angry little quantum troll.

3. Don’t get too obsessed with a single way of thinking. Practice pretending you’re an anthropomorphic goat at least twice a week.

Lord Bleeter Ramstein

4. Learn about the science of how flawed our brains are. It might be humbling. Have a gander at Penn & Teller's ball & cups trick. This is what pseudoscience scam artists do with words to steal your money and they won’t show you how it's done.

5. Learn to say “I’m sorry” and “You might have a point” and “My claims are likely flawed but this is how I’ve come to this preliminary conclusion” and “I don’t know” and “your crackpot ideologue mates don't understand how to weigh up risks and benefits” and “you’re the walking punch line answer to the question of why the extremist strutting chicken crossed the kookoo road”

6. Learn to identify denialism disguised as an appeal to the middle or false balance. Kardashian genocide denialists are the best examples of this currently.

De Nile has been around since ancient times

7. It’s OK to change your mind based on new evidence presented to you. This is what makes you the wolf among sheep ready to pounce and take advantage of ever improving models for reality and for self-pleasuring machines.

8. A civil discussion weighing up all the evidence is possible but needs to be treated with respect. If your opponent can’t reason then try to smack them right in the face with some curve balls. Absurdist humour about their mother and father's reproductive organs usually works best.

9. Examine your own possible paranoia about persecution from those who disagree with you. Are you really being persecuted by right-wing Muslim transgender single mothers on benefits? 

10. Constantly question your own beliefs, no matter how sacred or ‘right’ you think they are. It’s OK to give percentages for things we can't know for sure like a creator for the Universe. We really don’t have sufficient evidence to claim 0 or 100% on this one. That doesn’t mean you can’t give your opinions and choose a concentration camp. Just try to understand how the Nazis came to their conclusions without demonising them.

11. If you think you’re Luke Skywalker or Neo or Larry Gigli and somehow unique and special, um billions of other people past, present and future do too. We can’t all be The One! Feel free to use this delusional thinking to positively motivate you, but don’t start a UFO suicide cult just because you have crazy eyes and can manipulate people.

12. If you think you’re part of the Rebel Alliance and a spy fighting the evil Empire, have a look what outsiders have to say who have no Galactic Credits in your delusions of Star Wars. It’s great to have convictions and causes but don’t think that your group is the only one who really gets it and understands how Bardan Jusik Bieber has been mistreated by the space media.

13. Stop blaming all your problems on external factors; except for the Zionist Jesuit Illuminati Masonic Knights of Malta of course.

14. Learn about how messy and random the Universe is. Look at your genitals ffs for a visual representation of random absurdity. To quote the greatest philosopher and white supremacist apologist: “Sh*t happens when all I have is a box of chocolates.” And just like sh*t, remember that randomness is clumpy.

15. Examine why you dislike those in similar groups to yours; especially when outsiders can’t tell the difference. The other indoor base humping club aren’t evil. You are most likely wrong that your tribe is superior. Non-humping fans couldn’t give a sh*t and laugh in your face when you explain why the others are inferior.

16. Examine your parents, the groups that you belong to and the company you keep. Have they heavily influenced you into your own magical thinking? If they score high on extremism traits then you’re f*cked and it’s almost impossible to escape. Try to be part of the minority that manage to get out then encourage others to join a more benevolent death cult like the Greens political party.

17. Do you follow a leader that outsiders laugh at or respect or are scared of? If you're being blackmailed by David Miscarriage, come to me and I'll sort him out for you for only $10,000. Then you must convince the faceless men that Dave Chaffey Hippie is the new Grand Master of the NWO; both the rap group and the World government.

18. Find your blind spots where there is a massive difference between how you view yourself and how others view you. This can be painful and you’ll probably think you’re just being attacked. In the corporate world, we call them performance appraisals but note that many companies don’t do reverse feedback up to the managers because they fear getting a dose of their own medicine. Oprah Winfrey and Gayle King penetrating each other with head-mounted estrogen-injecting dildos are what happens when leaders close themselves off to critics.

19. Name the people you most admire and most demonise and have a look at how others view these people. Try to collect as many views as possible, including propaganda, on everything; not just what Joel Osteen tells you to think about Jesus the filthy capitalist.

20. Examine how you speak to outsiders and how many of the words you use have been designed to keep them feeling like outsiders and not in the know. Stop using obtuse jargon like 'square the circle jerk' and 'boil the Billy Ocean' to make it appear that you’re smart.

21. Learn to identify the most common logical fallacies and biases that we are all subject to. Consider whether you are a victim of circular and motivated reasoning by using logical fallacies as evidence to defend your flawed fundamental tenets. Your core ideology is likely complete BS so consider whether it’s benign or Status Quo 'Centrefold' extremism.

22. Don’t say “It’s just my opinion” or “Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs” or “All I know is” or “I’m not racist but” or “God will judge us all” or “Can I have a Mc’super-Mc’sized Mc’Happy Mc’Meal?”

23. Look at history and those figures who always claim that the world is falling apart and in a constant sense of crisis. Identify the actual peaks and valleys in the timeline of the Fallout Universe. Accept that we might not actually be in 'Gary' Vault 108 at the moment; even though our brain wants us to believe it.

24. Stop using the slippery slope argument. I’m fricking sick of it and the World will end if you keep using it… for you anyway when I launch you down an actual slippery soaped-up slope to Donald Trump’s Mexican sex dungeon.

25. Learn your trigger words when having civil arguments where your brain shuts down to reason. Try to practice compensating for this by having your loved one spank you while yelling your trigger words to de-sensitise you. Examples of trigger words you can try are GMO, vaccines, science, The Pope, Space Pope, Meta-Pope and side boob.

27. Remember that 2 random humans have way more in common than the BS that separates us. We all poop (or in Japanese Minna Unchi).

28. Write a list of the people or groups whom you believe are holding you back from your perfect life. If you come up with 6 billion people being against you, this is problematic and will likely make it difficult to live in civil global society. You don’t have to agree with others or like them or compete in wet jegging contests with them; just try to treat them as human beings with the same rights as you.

29. Examine whether your own group uses the indiscretions of your ‘enemies’ as justification for your own extreme actions. Remember when your Asian-stereotype mother with a speech impediment told you, "2 wongs don’t make a wight?"

30. Is it worth committing violence to defend the idea that Stella McCartney is a superior fashion designer to Victoria Beckham? Carefully consider the suffering inflicted on all humanity; including by violence committed supposedly in the name of green carpet alana dress with kappor sandals and falabella shaggy deer purse self-defence.

31. Examine whether your own fixed ideologies have caused you and your loved ones harm. For example, you may have a toxic parent-child relationship coupled with a distrust of psychologists coupled with a belief that families must stay together. Hi Mum.

33. Do you believe that you will be proven right in the near future about the second coming of all the Spice Girls and if we all don't believe then the Spice World will come to an end? If you’re a chiropractic spice healer, give up and go and manipulate the spines of the ginger, sporty, posh, scary and baby worms in your garden.

34. Attempt to make a joke criticising your own World View. I can give examples if you need help because your crazy ideology is the biggest joke around. We all laugh behind your backs at how gullible and deluded you are.
If you already are a moderate following all these tips, then how do you try to convert extremists? Peaceful, belittling ridicule is the only kind of protest I’m interested in. I’ll stay at home and keep bashing my fingers on the keyboard and hopefully not my head against my wall filled with posters of celebrities who have had pectoral and ass implants. The web is my platform to spread Peace, Love, Harmony through Kindness, Humility & Humour. And memes about cat ladies.

References:

http://redlands2030.net/?p=10007

TELEPATHETIC HOMEOPATHETIC PREPARATIONS FOR A COLONOSCOPY WITH BONUS COFFEE ENEMA

WARNING: If you have a sensitive disposition towards differences of opinion, straw men caricatures, mild ridicule and Star Wars references, then please take some of your personalised homeopathic preparations before reading on.

Let’s look at the attitudes one may encounter towards the modality of homeopathy or any other treatments promoted as alternative or complementary. Mentioning the H-bomb word 'homeopathy' has been an emotional trigger and was the beginning of the end for 2 of my blocked Facebook-tionships. (Can anyone think of a better portmanteau for Facebook relationships? I'll give you credit)

Some possible labels to apply to people about homeopathy: (labels are useful constructs for groups in my opinion but obviously shouldn't be used to put everyone in a neat little box. We are all much more complicated than that.)

1. Denier: Homeopathy is complete and utter BS. There is nothing to see here. Move along. Move along. It should immediately go the way of trepanation, the White Australia Policy and Gary Coleman. Anyone who believes is either ignorant or stupid or deluded or all of the above like a Gungan from the planet Naboo. The worst homeopathic extremists are about as likable as Bill Cosby doing an impression of Jar Jar Binks.

2. Scientific skeptic: Plausibility strongly suggests that homeopathy is unlikely to have an effect above placebo. More studies than you can poke a hirsute Naturopath at agree that it has no beneficial effect. It may still have a very tiny effect above placebo, but a tiny effect is very different to the claims made by your typical Dr Quinn water-medicine woman. It is basically unethical to give out placebo medicine no matter what kind of ‘healer’ you are. It is pretty much inconceivable that further study is going to yield positive results so no further money should be wasted. Homeopaths, like WWE wrestlers, should just admit that they engage in entertainment and recommend that anyone actually sick should go to a doctor; then keep doing it if people will still pay for it. We still read horoscopes with similar disclaimers at the bottom, so perhaps their business model would not be pile driven into the mat like Stone Cold Steve Austin. (we all agree that astrology is just a bit of fun, right?)

I prefer my wrestling to be in jelly or custard

3. Fluffy moderate: Homeopathy is probably BS but just leave them alone unless they are threatening you with a gun loaded with homeopathic bullets. You’ll likely get nowhere challenging believers so don’t bother. Devote your energy to being positive in the hope that the homeopaths that eschew medicine will slowly come round to accepting the benefits of science-based medicine when they really need it. It’s also often a fluffer moderate’s responsibility to pull deniers and believers apart as they usually get along about as well as James Packer and David Gyngell. (I thought that the elites were supposed to all collude. I know, it must have been play fighting between Packer and Gyngell to convince us that they are actually in competition. Their puppet masters even told them to look really comical. Well played.)

2 of Australia's richest men

4. Extremist moderate: The Universe consciousness collective is full of wonder and mystery and the mystic energy radiates from the Heavens down into our chakras. If homeopathy works for some people why take away their healing from them just because you don’t believe in it? Water is the most mysterious molecule of them all, so why claim that it couldn't have memory? Science is arrogant and claims to know everything about everything but it knows next to nothing. Reality is subjective and what works for others may not work for you. Being negative all the time makes baby Gaia cry and chuck tantrums; then we end up with more earthquakes and hurricanes. One should reflect back positive vibrational energy at all times and they will be rewarded due to the karmic principle that binds all our souls as a single life-force.

5. ‘Benign’ believer: Homeopathy helps me with my ‘symptoms of life’. Big pharma shouldn't get all my money. There is something to placebo medicine that the establishment haven't worked out. But when I actually get ‘proper’ sick, I’ll go and see a doctor. Others are entitled to their own views and they don’t annoy me unless they are being nasty to me. Live and let die, I mean live.

6. Dangerous true believer: Conventional medicine is BS. Big Pharma and Big Farm and Big Food and all the 1% elites are making us chronically ill with toxic food then dispensing treatments just to maximise their profits. Homeopathy proudly sits outside this hegemony and there is a mountain of evidence that it works. Homeopathy can even immunize against measles. People that diss homeopathy are blind and asleep and sheep. They are being critical to try and put the competition out of business. I have heard about homeopathy scientists being gagged by the elites from releasing their positive results. The extremist Western medicine believers haven’t seen what we've seen: real people getting real help from homeopathy. If more people embraced homeopathy, the world would be healthier and happier.

No prizes for guessing which camp I have pitched my deluxe 4-bedroom air-conditioned tent in.

I think that 2: scientific skepticism should be compatible with everything reality-based that works. It’s often also beneficial to throw in a little 3: fluffy moderation as the spoon full of sugar to make the medicine go down.

From my very personal experience, scientific skeptics are not always the easiest people to get along with; partly due to their internal conflict between how rational they would like their brains to be and how irrational their brains actually are.

They will also often appear just as a-hole, absolutist-thinking deniers unless you have a lot of time on your hands to hear their ‘rants’; for it usually takes something like 10 times as many words to fully explain a concept with all the required nuances for the detailed skeptical point of view. Most people want the short version and can feel spammed if a kind skeptic tries to explain everything that is required in order to form their opinion. And if that kind skeptic also sprinkles in Skynet and "Oh Sam" jokes; listen to them and consider what it would take to change your mind...