OUR GLOBAL EMPIRE THAT WILL ONE DAY KNOCK MUMMA MIA BACK TO THE MAN SHED WHERE SHE BELONGS

If you love The Emergence Starts Now, then donate a little to allow us to continue our magical space oddity journey to World Peace. And remember we will donate forward half of what we are gifted to an approved charity like The World Food Program or Doctors Without Borders.

If you hate the content of The Emergence, then get off the following URLs and Earls and Social Medias, because we're not going to rest until we have infiltrated every human mind. In fact, the best you can do is get off the grid immediately with Jessie ‘Ace’ Ventura. This will give you a few years of your pitiful liberty until the New World Order starts spraying our own special fragrance of chemtrail mix to subdue you; followed by us bringing you in to one of our luxury re-education FEMA camps.

Have we missed any outlet for our once-in-a-Universe genius word-based mind-hacking technology? All this content is free and followers who donate to us get nothing extra except for an occasional burning sensation in their pants.

- New blog and old Blog for a very special niche audience of our science-based absurdist hippie clown clones

Our 5th in command

- More conventional published articles that hide our true identity and attempt to subliminally brainwash outsiders into our cult

- Facebook personal page of The Founder for the short rant and the occasional abusive rap battle with extremists. Example from the prophet code-named Smurfette: "I am not a dude and you are a tyrant frightened of the truth. We don't need people like you in the Universe."

- Facebook page for The Emergence Starts Now Publishing Bunker where we notify our fan about all new content and remind her to have dinner on the table at 6pm sharp every night

- The Emergence Facebook Group for the rare discoveries of others on a similar mission as us to develop technology to cure the human condition

- Twitter for arbitrary and infuriating 140 character non-coherence such as: "Gouda is the enemy of cheese grater"

- Dumb memes posted on Tumblr; some are ours

- Issuu for fancy looking entertainment-purpose-only pdfs like the Extremism Spectrum Disorder Diagnostic Tool

- Consciousness uploading using our Memory Capture Device

- Books if we can ever concentrate on a single topic long enough. We’ve started something with an incredibly angry and sweary tone to be published in 2022.

- Holy text decreed to us by the archangel Gabi Grecko for our new global religion that all will follow or face the consequences

Our holy mother Gabi showing off her Emergence commitment ring

Other ways we're taking it all over one snore-cast at a time:

- Youtube for our depression casts and abuse casts to enjoy my cheery disposition

- Podcast for occasional audio versions of our blog articles and the odd snore cast

- Instagram for our Brooding Batman Lego creations and feet

- LinkedIn profile to give the illusion that we are professional

- Vine for some of the most annoying and offensive 6 second videos about The Emergence being a scourge to humanity

- Pinterest to be our brain extension for Data we can’t remember like Spiner Femmes and Filkers. Our mental health board is a collection of articles we've used to create the rhythmic dance routines that will be used by the 2016 Olympic team from Moldavia.

- Google+ to spread the word to Google employees that aren't permitted to use Facebook.

- Soundcloud for our heavenly musical creations that range from absurd to sleep-inducing to out of tune.

- Live appearances: We are all the face of The Emergence. The Dave Chaffey Hippie Unit is The Founder. He doesn't want to be a sociopathic sex-crazed charismatic leader. He will perform live occasionally on request, but any who agree in general with our manifesto guidelines can spread the word loudly in public and drop love bombs on Donald Trump’s 17th wife bot and hair fluffer.

- Peaceful demonstrations: Small groups like the Oscar Pistorius supporters. Quiet, unassuming with silly costumes and placards. This may not make headlines but also won’t incite violence. Followers are encouraged to protest anything that doesn't follow basic harm minimisation principles, like BDSM dominatrix's and personal trainers with names like The Commando and The Misogynist Minute-Man

- Support group Periscope live streams on request for crazy geniuses currently having trouble being productive members of society. Productive could mean just doing a little volunteer work rather than spending all their days fighting the semantic anti-Semitic Great War with their keyboards. The debate will rage about the role of shock trolling in bringing about World Peace.

- Radio broadcast stunts to raise money for charity: We’ll do anything you ask of us as long as it won’t harm us and won't take much effort. Kudos to the little fella on the Unicycle with the gorgeous voice, but no frucking way we’re squashing our balls for 6 months. Our first stunt could be doing a homage to the ending of Fight Club.

- Annual anti-social inner beauty omphaloskepsis pageant. Post your belly button shots and short bios on our Facebook page

- 'Hug an Extremist' charity drive on Vine. Post 6 second videos of you hugging an extremist and then donating money to the opposite cause. For example, hug radio schlock jock Alan Jones, then donate to MENSA.

- Love bombing of mainstream media by our followers to try and steer them away from the actual problems in the World like Mel Gibson and Big Fairy. We'll donate to an approved charity for every time one of our followers yells THE EMERGENCE STARTS NOW to an audience of over 100,000. Post your videos on Youtube.

- Skeptic Master online lecture series coming soon to prepare for the coming final epic battle with the Reiki Masters

- Merchandising upon request – all profits to charity – T shirt with the slogan: “Having a bad day? If you are still alive tomorrow, how about thinking about the 21,000 who starved to death, you arrogant selfish pompous ass!”

How else would you like us to serve you? We'll do anything that we agree to do! 

Lastly, our followers will keep an eye on anything else useful like BlackPlanet, Cross.tv, Ravelry or The Reclaim Australia Circus Clowns? There are many poor souls stuck in these insular networks and benevolent infiltration by us would be enlightening if nothing else.

Reclaim Australia Leader and First Australian hater Shermon 'the tank' Burgess

Contact us on your Almon Brown Strowger rotary phone by yelling The Emergence Starts Now at the operator.

World Peace, Inner Harmony & Mark Harmon

The dreamy face of Inner Harmony

PROFILE ON THE DAVE CHAFFEY HIPPIE UNIT

Dave Chaffey Hippie - The Emergence Starts Now - AudioBlog Ep1 Profile on the Founder by Dave Chaffey on Mixcloud

WHO ARE YOU? We are the emergence. You are the emergence too. Why are we asking ourselves questions?

YOU HAVE A NAME, RIGHT? Yes. The Chaffey gut bacteria culture empire that controls my parents’ minds unoriginally named my biological container David Phillip. But this is a very imprecise definition of who I am.

GREAT! NOW WE’RE GETTING SOMEWHERE. THANK YOU. WHAT DO YOU DO? We regularly dissolve into the technological hive mind to spread peace, love & harmony through humility & kindness. This is only currently possible through primitive social networking platforms such as Facebook and Cloob where we reach out to both lovers and haters. As the technology of human-machine interfacing improves, it will become possible to directly communicate with other human minds.

RIGHT... SOUNDS TO ME LIKE YOU ARE RATHER DELUDED. DO YOU ACCEPT THAT THIS MIGHT BE THE CASE? Yes. We are all deeply flawed and deluded. It is part of the human condition that we must endure during the transition to the global consciousness; or the singularity as some of you call it.

WHAT GLOBAL CONSCIOUSNESS? LIKE HIPPIE NEW AGE LET’S ALL MEDITATE AND DO TELEPATHY? Yes and No. The missing element is the technology to make global mind melding truly possible. The internet is the current primitive version that fails to come up to spec but will improve over time.

SO ARE YOU PROPOSING SOMETHING LIKE THE MOVIE THE MATRIX? Yes and No. We will not be slaves. We will all be one. Our frail biology will merge with more robust technology. Robots won't crush our burnt-out skulls. We will all evolve into a new emergent property: global consciousness with powers that we cannot imagine. Our current puny human brains are a network of brain cells that have the emergent property of consciousness. The next level of consciousness evolution will be a global network of brains connected together through technology similar to how the internet networks computers together now. A project such as Wikipedia is a good example of the kind of collaboration that will be greatly enhanced as our brain networking technology improves. Do not worry if you cannot fathom this future. It is not detrimental to your ability to thrive in the current society as long as you remain able to adjust to the gradual improvements in technology and do not start throwing sabots into the wooden gears of textile looms to break the cogs.

ARE YOU NOT ALSO A MENTAL PATIENT? WHY SHOULD ANY SANE PEOPLE NOT JUST WRITE YOU OFF AS CRAZY? They are free to do this. We are hopeful for a bright and peaceful future and do not wish to harm anybody in the process. Some will laugh off our ideas and continue on with their lives of probable futility. That is fine. The Universe is absurd. There is no reason to believe that there is any ultimate meaning at all.

RIGHT. BUT WE STILL KNOW NOTHING ABOUT YOU! If you wish for something more compatible with our present culture, then just read Dave Chaffey's LinkedIn profile: au.linkedin.com/in/davechaffeyhippie

You may find all the answers you're not looking for in the emergence Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theemergencestartsnow/

THANK YOU FOR FREAKING US OUT! Peace Love & Harmony through Technology, Kindness & Humility.

THE EMERGENCE PERSONAL MANIFESTO

But you can make it slightly less unfair...

"Don't you feel helpless sometimes. You research the information about the world situations that are happening, or have happened, and you realize that there is so much evil shit going on and you need to tell so many people to just take a step back from all the bullsh*t and research the whole bigger picture. But they've got their heads so far up their asses, that all they hear (to them), is a pile of sh*t." Justin Ellis

Justin's words echo how many of us feel at times

I have been diagnosed with major depression but still have great hope for our future. Those with minor depression or no depression should be able to come to the same conclusion by looking at the trends.

Most famous Hope in the world!

I think most people are basically good within their own tribes anyway. If they weren't, our species wouldn't still be around.

I started my emergence movement to try and encourage me and others to think outside our own tribes and start making the global community a reality. Also I want to break through the helplessness that many of us feel by focusing too heavily on the evils that me get bombarded with.

I don't blame anyone for giving up and just caring for their own kin. But this won't fix the world and there are many out there who have some spare capacity but they just need a direction to walk the trek to a global consciousness in harmony with the environment and populated by equals.

The first steps are easy:

- 1% of your income to a charity that doesn't benefit your tribe

- 1 volunteer hour per week helping people that can't help themselves outside your tribe

- 1 kindness bomb per day trying to brighten up someone outside your tribe who is in pain or angry and not showing you kindness back

If you don't think the emergence is on the right track, then join my Facebook group and help me to improve it.

Peace, love & harmony through humility, kindness & technology...